Opposites Attract

Breakfast:
Homemade, fresh, home- ground whole wheat flour, oat, flax, walnut, banana, blueberry, agave nectar muffins for breakfast.

Dessert:
Butter, more butter, Ghirhadelli 60% cocoa baking chocolate, semi-sweet baking chocolate, milk chocolate, eggs, and 4 teaspooons of flour.  Yes only four TEASPOONS.  Individual Molten Lava Chocolate Cakes.

Let's call this a balanced diet, shall we?

It made for a great day.  With some frustration, sadness, blah, worship, excellent family night, mixed in. 

A Shock

So we only went back to school two weeks ago.  Christmas already feels very far away.

The most famous line from all Christmas Carols has got to be
. . . "and Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again".
Let's put some exclamation points at the end of that line. !!!!!!!
Like the title of this blog - can't live with them, but wouldn't, couldn't live without them. Still sending them back to school puts a little much needed distance from them every day.

So a few days back into the routine of life: school, afterschool-hour-of-hang-out, homework, chores (theoretically), dinner, activities, had set back in, I had a shock.
I was home from my little job, puttering around for something meaningful to do until the boys came home, when it hit me!
I actually MISS my kids.
I did a double take on that thought.
This had never happened before.
Oh sure, after a week at scout camp maybe.
And I am always very happy to see them when they walk through the door after school.
But after they went back to school at the end of Christmas break?  That is 2 WEEKS.
I don't think missing kids equals loving kids.  Or even liking them.
I know it has to do with such a blissful break.  A couple of days celebrating in Arizona and then a whole week at home, Utah, with family and friends.  We weren't all forced on each other in the same house, no distractions, for 2 weeks straight. And I had Dave as a companion the entire 2 weeks.  Couldn't have been more ideal.

But before I  get writing some Pollyanna-ish version of our lives for posterity, let me give this moment a check and balance.  This very night Dave and I quietly snuck out of the house because we couldn't take the hurricane, as in boys chasing and trying to kill each other, any more.  We had a lovely walk to the park, looking at the night sky for about 20 minutes.  Dave kept assuring me that if anything truly dangerous happened they were bound to come outside screaming for someone to help with an emergency.
It worked.  When we came back in everything was mellowed.  Dave and I even used mellow tones as we insisted they clean up everything they had thrown at each other (toys, shoes, clothing, etc.  No food.  They have their limits).

But I wanted to remember that moment of remembering the joyous moments spent together this December.
I hope it happens again sometime, and before they are all gone for good.
Good luck me :)

"Baby I'ts Cold Outside"

Current Status:

Cold - for us desert-ians.  A freezing cold high of 47.  I was totally meant to live here.  I think the tears would freeze on my face if I was stuck in the cold that is Utah right now.

Spoke in Church yesterday.  Scary.
Our ward takes fills up the entire chapel and one of two gyms.  So its like speaking in Stake Conference.
But I survived.

Other highlights of late:

• Made about $120 from a a garage sale I had with a couple of neighbors.  I only had about a truck load worth of stuff, so I am thrilled with my little cash.
• James remembered to go to guitar lessons today
• Pomegranates.  The hard part is starting to eat them, the happy part is the long, drawn out, actual eating of them. 
• My Merry Christmas Blendtec.  Somehow my kids think having it means more shakes.  NO! I keep telling them when I see the empty shake glasses. 
• having Dave as a husband
• fleece jackets and blankets, pajamas, etc.
• Thai House
• Book Club
• "Chocolate Covered Cherries" flavor of custard at Nielsens Frozen Custard.  YES - we have one, two actually, here!
• texting
• shopping at Savers
• keep my New Years resolution for 14 days straight.  I wont say what it is right now but I'll tell you what it isn't.  Last year I set a goal to have 0 (that is ZERO) library fines.  This is not a good goal to set.  It is not realistic and not achievable.  People should set realistic and achievable goals, say the experts.  Like say, keeping your balance under $30 per card, ie: per person.  This I may have been able to reach.  And really if we didn't pay fines how would the library have money for more wonderful books.  It's a service I am depriving the community if I set such a goal.  So it is not that goal, and may never be again.  

And the not so much . . .

• missing recycle day
• stubborn pre-teenagers
• stubborn self
• buying a pair of pants in a bigger size, for myself.  NOT a good day
• getting an MMR shot because I have no record of mine, and have to have one to work in the schools.  I have been lying to my children for years.  It stung soooooooooooo bad!
• Ordering hotness at a level 3 of 5, at Thai house
• Eating Nielsens Frozen Custard when you really want to trim down a little.  Just a single serving but, calories, calories. 
• the dog eating a giant Hersheys kiss
• Peter refusing to go to his first class the first day back at school
• feeling your children's pain
• I just realized I forgot to pick up James from guitar.  Bye

"Til Christmas Comes 'Round Again"

And so it came.  And then it went.  And it is always wonderful.  And it is always spiritual.  And we judge our time each year based on the event of the Saviors birth.  Christmas both begins and ends our time spent each year.
As it should be. Our lives defined by the Savior.

A few more details about ours:
Finally - the weekend before the weekend before Christmas, we went to get our tree.
We have been cutting down our own tree for years now, in Utah, and as one of my favorite traditions I was jubilant discovering we could carry on our tradition in Arizona
And NO, you don't cut down a cactus instead.
You just drive into the sub-par mountains.
So ensued a mighty hunt for the permit, since I missed the initial buying window.
Then we had to wait for a weekend without soccer, basketball, events, etc.
I was disappointed to find we had waited so long that now the first wet weekend in months was upon us.
But hey, this could mean snow where we were going.  Snow is novel.  Snow can be charming.
So we packed up snow clothes, etc.  just in case.  Dave mocking that we would even need any.  So its raining in the valley.  How much 'snow" could there even be in Payson, AZ, about 1 1/2 hours north-east of us?
We left really late because we didn't want the boys to miss some service projects that morning, that were truly valuable  Then we encountered a stubborn teenager, to be left unnamed (and I count all 3 as teenagers now), who was officially "left behind" twice, but who still came.
So by 1:30 we are finally on our way.  Tithing settlment, yes on Saturday night, was at 8:00 p.m.
Plenty of time.

The gray skies made the atmosphere more appropriate and the light drizel that slowly turned flaky, added to the ambviance as well.
The higher we got, the snowier it got.
Down right snowy.
As we reached our destination, well we never really reached it.  We couldn't see anything, in what was the now BLIZZARD.

When we finally pulled over to ask a highway patrolman to direct us, his reaction that we make us seem somewhat CRAZY to even be thinking of trying to turn off the main highway to our side road into Winter Wonderland.  I guess he didn't want to have to rescue us.

This place had received snow, not-stop, for the past 2 days, and it was one of our snowiest tree adventures ever.
Trying not to be too disappointed, we turned around, and crawled back out of the blur.  Making one stop further down the mountain,  where we could actually pull off the road and play a bit.  (if you want to see Levi, watch the video )
We arrived home just in time for tithing settlement.  We went straight to the church in our wet, bedraggled ensemble.  Then we pulled into the first place we saw a tree, the grocery store, and bought THE ugliest Christmas tree we have ever placed in our home.  Noone ever grew to love it.  We never gazed at it, we didn't even ever finish decorating the sad, fat little, kindling dry bush.

Ah well, somehow we still crammed a few meaningful presents under it and had the merriest Christmas ever.
Okay maybe not ever, but its hard to tell.  They are all wonderful for different reasons.

Christmas Eve, we got to share our  home with a group the size our house was meant for when we had my Uncle Ben, Aunt Inger, and all their kids, and relatives over for dinner.  They brought all the dinner.  We provided tables and chairs for 40, and a wonderful gathering place for a family who hadn't been together since they could remember.  My cousin Julie's wedding brought them all here.  It was as delightful to watch my Aunt and Uncle relish the joy of being with their posterity as it was to be with them.  Swedish food, music, Santa, laughter, and testimony.

Mr. and Mrs. Claus got to bed late again since our guests arrived late and we had a little putting together of the home before Santa could come.
Rumor has it that the Claus' watch Disney's Tangled in the sleigh DVD player, as they stuff stockings and deliver presents.
Sadly the boys had found their Santa surprises,  hidden by elves in our garage, several weeks before.
A sobbing lecture about all the joy of Christmas morning being destroyed, was my response to my poor husbands "Christmas isn't ruined" encouragement he gave the day of the accidental present finding.
But to my amazement the boys were still thrilled with Christmas morning.  We had a very simple one, with just a few present for each and a quiet day at home (I was coming down with a cold and took 2 naps).

Then that night we packed for our trip to Utah.
Going home was the perfect ending to quite a year.  Spending hours every day with the people you love most in the world, is just the way to do it.
A little sledding, lots of good food, and quiet talks with Grandparents made it even better.
On January 2nd we left the snow behind and teary but willingly came back to our blue skies and warmer temperatures.

There are so many many details I will never have time to give thanks for.  So many happy moments.  It actually does make the hard moments seem distant (even though I'm writing this entry minutes after anguishing to Dave over how hard of a combination our boys are and perhaps they should have never been placed together in a family :( :)  I am very dramatic when distressed.)

We can't wait to see what a full and challenging year we have ahead.  Okay who am I kidding.  I like "uneventful" unless its road trips or date nights.  But I'm sure I will have lots of things to "gain perspective" over as the boys live through another year of teens and Dave and I grow older, and please Heaven help us, wiser.

Delight - December 9

So to try and get the Christmas feeling going, the Christmas events start.
And with it cooler weather.  A few days clear down in the 50's and nights close to freezing.  Brrrrr.

We missed the ward Christmas party because we were at Dave's work party.  We thought the boys might enjoy a nice dinner and meeting Dad's coworkers.  Oops.  Not so much.
They did however, immensely enjoy us winning and IPOD touch in the raffle.

Next came the classic school music concert.  Elementary school music concert.
Just the thought of 6th grade string, brass, and wind instruments conjured in me apprehension.
Luckily Seth plays percussion, all kinds of drums, and banging things, so at least his portion had less chance of sounding like cats and seals performing in pain.  Sorry Seth.
So I got to the school a little late, secretly ecstatic that I'd missed the 5th grade orchestra.
With my best effort I enjoyed the mixed grade chorus.  And only when the last song had 12 verses, did I get impatient.
Then much to my wondering ears did appear but the 6th grade orchestra that wasn't half bad.  
I moved to an ideal photo and filming location in the roasting gym.
And really I found my self thoroughly enjoying the performance.  Seth was good.  His neighboring percussionist were good too.
Their little drum sticks were in perfect rythm.  Way to go Seth.
Wow!
Look at my sweetie go!
Listen to how well they play the beat.
What a charming version of "The Night Before Christmas" with lots of colorful sounds representing each section.
By the end, I was beaming.  A very proud mommy.
And apparently it showed.
The Olsens, who live nearby, and also had a percussionist, said that they took a picture of ME during the performance.
What?  Why?
Apparently the look of pride and joy on my face, watching my baby play, was priceless.
At first I was embarrassed, but I chose to squelch that and go with the moment.
It really as priceless.  See for yourself:  (he is the one closest to the camera)

the anti-Atheist

So the other day Peter was mad at me.  This does happen often as human nature, teenage hormones, and obsessive personality will dictate.  The anger was spurred by my refusal to let him play any more video games.  (Picture here in your mind the biggest sigh you can.  Boys + video-games is bad enough.  Add "limits" to those video games, as any good parent should, and wonder with me on why it is a source of contention EVERY TIME you tell the kids to turn them off.  Sigh with me!  A collective, will it every be easier, SIGH).
So, this particular time, Peter was particularly mad.  I can't say why.  So to show his anger, his disdain for those rotten rules, his independence, a way to hurt me back for being a dictator, he threw the worst words he could think of at the moment.
"Mom, I'm an ANTI-ATHIEST!!!!!!!"

Shock?  Awe?  Not exactly.  I was more surprised and endeared.  The next moments are fuzzy.  I"m not sure if I hugged him or sent him to his room, but it left me relieved. 
Yes relieved.
Because Peter didn't really have a clue what he was saying.  Obviously  he had some idea, but knowing this boy the way I do, it was just words.  Words meant to wound but instead they represented to me that we can't get away from the truth around here.  We definitely believe in God.  Even Peter.  Even when he is mad.  Even me when I'm mad. 
We are definitely ANTI-ATHIESTS.

It's begining to feel nothing like Christmas - Thanksgiving and beyond

Because it still gets to 80 degrees everyday here.  I AM NOT complaining about that though.  LOVE IT.
LOVE the warm, sunny and bright days.  The crisp cool nights and morning.  Love it.
One day last week the sky was cloudy until about 10:30 and I was so disappointed thinking I wouldn't see the sun at all that day.  I was trying to self talk myself into being glad for the diversity, look on the bright side of cloudiness.  When the sun was out by lunch time, I was so relieved :).

Going back in time, one last time (who am I kidding right?  This will probably always be a month behind)
THANKSGIVING - again beautiful weather was welcome.  My brother Joseph, his beautiful wife and one of my best friends Erin, and there awesome, darling, high energy kiddo's: Annalyn, Isaac, Max and baby Kayla, thought it was too hot.
We had the entire feast at 4:00.  Considering we started cooking at noon I think that is pretty good.  We dined on divinely candied yams, homemade cranberry sauce, two kinds, we even threw in a cooked vegetable, which mostly got ignored.  I made homemade rolls and since that only happens once every few years, I'm grateful they turned out decent.

The boys played a football game with the ward that morning.
Erin, Annalyn, Kayla and I went for a nice walk.
There was a little football watched, a little wii played.
There were blessings shared around the dinner table and food greatly enjoyed.
There was a store bought Costco pumpkin pie, a Toll-house pie, a chocolate cream and a cherry pie.  The cherry never did get eaten.
Oh yes, Seth and the cousins had a coconut cream pie for breakfast.  It was left-over from Seth bringing a pie to school the day before for "pie-day".  Pie-Day has more to do with math than thanksgiving.

It was a delightful day to be sure.

The stores sort of ruined the evening for me by starting Black Friday sales on Thanksgiving night, but it does make for a better nights sleep. 
James has been dreaming about how magical, intense, incredible, etc. Black Friday must be, for a year now, after hearing war stories from friends.  So I let he and Seth tag along, which is tricky while shopping for them.  Luckily they missed the insanity that is WalMart while holding our place in line at Target.  The secret items I had been hoping for at WalMart had been sold earlier than the add said, I will refrain from describing my disappointment.  Apparently I was the only one smart enough to look on the regular shelf, as opposed to the pallet they were sold on the hour before, and I found exactly three of "said item" waiting quietly for me to purchase them.
Then I sprinted to the Target line, to find my boys, just in the nick of time.  The fear of them being hurded into a Black Friday crowd without me to protect them, fueled my run.  I should mention the Target and Walmart were across the street from each other so it worked out perfectly.
When I arrived to our spot in line, they were already complaining.  Ha!
They helped Erin shop a little for her kids and after 15 minutes we were done there too.
Surprisingly Seth enjoyed the maze like dodging and maneuvering of shopping with thousands of people but sadly James was very let down and has no desire to accompany me again.

When Joseph and Erin said they could only stay 2 and 3/4 days, I was sure it would be more painful than happy to have them for such a short time because we would be so sad to see them go so soon.  I was proven wrong.  We loved every second and would take them for 3 hours if we could.  And any of you too. We were sad to see them go but so grateful for the family to share the holiday with.

We are now trying to focus our thoughts and hearts on Christmas.  And it's 80 degrees outside.
We laugh at the Christmas songs about snow now.
Our neighborhood looks like Who-Ville with all the decorations people put up here.  I think the lack of vegetation makes the lights more vivid or something.  And Blow-Ups, you know those parachute material, life-size, or beyond, blow-up with powered warm air thingies you see around.  Well this is like their "North Pole"  I didn't even know so many existed.  It's comical to me, and sweet.
I have always believed that it is because of the light of Christ in all men that spurs them to such enthusiasm for Christmas decorations.  More and more people do not understand why it is the most celebrated holiday in the year, but the origination cannot be denied.
We have zero blow-ups and not even a tree up yet.  Yikes.